Why GOD invented the Bitch Slap

RAMONES.COM
Who gives a shit? Marky is an asshat.

RAMONES.COM
This gotta be the dumbest. Dirt bag drummer talks?

NY Daily News - Baseball - John Harper: David's mouth in peak shape
Boom, shut the fark up and win, you douchebag.

Demoted Cheerleader Sues High School
Hey! Wait a minute! My life sucked during high school. Who do I sue?

Shoot Me Now
Every time I say, "No one can be that dumb," a maroon like this shows up.

NY Daily News - Sports - Jose has Sox knocked off
Tears. I keep telling ya, IT ENDS IN TEARS.

New York Yankees : The Official Site
Sunday. George will pop on Sunday.

The Ari Files - Mark Ari
Our house romantic.
Somebody murder the music track, please.
(I-swear-to-GOD-I'll-call-you-a-hippie-next-time.)

Congressman Charged With Manslaughter (washingtonpost.com)

The Corner on National Review Online
Oh. Really. I di not know this.

Councilman irate over graffiti gaffe
Oddo, don't be an a-hole.

Killjoy was Here
I read this:
MoneyQoute: "The average American--if there is such a creature--lives now in a competitive, postindustrial, service-dominated world. Rosie the Riveter is now Rajyalakshmi the Techie Guest-worker, and "jobmates" and "apprentices" sound more like words from "Harry Potter" than staples of the workday vocabulary. Besides, today's unions are no longer proud standard-bearers of a craft, or metier, or even of an economic class: Instead, they are vast political engines, in the service mainly of the Democratic Party, dinosaurs that thunder into view whenever there is an election."
And laughed some more, then walked over to the sound system and loaded up Ramones & Clash.
GABBA-GABBA-WEEE!

Place Your Bets!
REAL REASON: they found out about the "how long before we answer" pool.

OpinionJournal - Taste (reg. req'd)
I hope this kid gets his 'nads kicked up to his brain and Navy's goat shits on his head.

OpinionJournal - Wonder Land (reg. reqd.)
Why am I still here? Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm a nostalgic freakin' idiot.
10:15AM UPDATE: Oh, no, wrong answer. It's because here ain't (shudder) there.

NY Daily News: Sex & drugs just stories, says Arnold
Oh, Arnie, please don't backpedal this. Then your just like the Sacramento Scumbags you're supposed be ass-kicking and house cleaning.

Here comes the Bride, red-necked and high...
Somebody, please, tell me there was a video camera running during her rampage, and the monkey operating said camera realizes what that tape is worth!

Taxi TV program pulled
Asshat companies involved in experiment sue. Riders don't give a damn either way; just want cabbies not to kill them.

Mob Informer Indicted in Detective's Murder (reg. rqrd.)
Sammy the Bull is like Bill Clinton: you turn around, the piece of shit is still hanging around, reminding you of what a schmuck the farker was.

Moses: Nay; Gays: OK
See, only certain displays offend people. But anyone offended by this must be a bigot.

Rule One: If you're gonna rough up a photographer, TRASH THE CAMERA.
what maroons

Eco-Weenie Gobblly Gook
Blinded by science.

NY Daily News: Families are bitter over PA's bad timing
The Port Authority asshats should not have released this stuff until the day after the survivors of every person identified in the transcript, every PA employee who died that day, had a complete copy in their hands.

A Lefty Boom
Pretty good analysis at the start; same old Podboy John at the end.

The Jihad All-Stars
La Dowdy One spins another of her vapid webs.

The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: Discussion on Meanwhile, In Gallia Transalpina...
The Emperor! Kitty Blenders quiver at mere mention of his name!

Bill Madden: Attention shoppers - Time's almost up for quick fix
Mount Steinbrenner is so gonna blow. It seems a lock that Torre, Zim and Mel are packing it in after this season. Boss is gonna start busting Stot's chops. He's setting up Connnors to be next year's pitching coach, no matter what the next manager thinks about it.

Danny's an ash!
No, Danny is a schmuck for signing the post-nup.

3000 "Teachers" Flunk Competency Test
I gotta find me a copy of this test, just to see how dumb these crybabies truly are.

She Should Know
She probably doesn't even get how damn ironic her latest screed sounds.

PICK OF THE DAY:
Kathleen Parker: O'Reilly and Franken deserve each other

Brent Bozell: Sex and the 'glamour' girl
Just freak'n amazin. Bozell is kinda whacked, but this....

No-Recall
No posting without a spell/grammar checker either, yenta!

Kansascity.com - Your Kansas City Everything Guide
Damner: "i love that cat. It's beautiful."
Wrong answer, government boy. You may love nothing. You must be unbiased. Nip off and kill yourself right this minute.

Hatfill Sues U.S. Over Anthrax Probe (washingtonpost.com)
Hope a gets a couple million.

Mars, not Islamic militants, to blame for Bombay blasts: astrologers
And these farkers have The Bomb?!

WorldNetDaily: On the establishment of religion: What the Constitution really says
Can't believe I snagged this via FARK.

The Olsen Twins Fight Plaque
What can they do about my stomach churning every time I see their names?

The Village Voice: Hacks vs. Flack by Cynthia Cotts
If I'm that guy, and any twit from France gives me grief, I shake my head in a sad sort of shimmy and respond (according to FreeTranslation), "Vos grands-parents meurent pendant que vous les vacances. Ceci est où vos attentions résident?"

The Bush Body Count
Woo-Hoo!

Open elections for all New Yorkers
Great idea. Too bad it's Doomed. The borough bosses will still be able to get their annointed elected; they'll just have to do it on the QT.
That's if their judges don't partial birth abort the plan.

Pixar May Have Outgrown Need for Disney Approval
Pixar may have outgrown need for anybody except the Great, Omnipotent (The Black Box Ruled!), Almighty Wielder of the "Reality Distortion Field." Their writers and animation squad are way ahead of anything the MouseHouse can muster. Oh, and Clay Timon is an asshat.

CHISOX ADD TO YANK WORRIES
you're damn right.

GIs Crush Crime Ring
don't mess with the troopies' tootsie!

Kobe's Kiss & Grab
Gotta love those gag rules they got in Eagle County. Then, this is the state that brought us the Jon Benet Ramsey investigation.

The Courts of NY are Nuts
This punk should be in lockup. He's 19--an adult, not a "teen"; him living at home is irrelevent. The judge refused to up his bail because there was no new evidence, only new charges.
BULLSHIT! If you're arrested for assault, bail out, then the victim dies, your ass is back in the dock and it's a whole new game.

Spaniards dress down for La Tomatina hurl them puppies!

Penguin Blog
I'm a gonna kill Pyra Labs!

LILEKS (James) is temporarily hosed
Poor bastard. I can't wait to see what he Bleats out on Thursday!

LILEKS (James) is temporarily hosed
Poor bastard...hope he makes it back on Thursday. I'm betting that will be one mutha of a Bleat!

this is driving me freaking barmy!

BLOGGER :: Dano Release Notes
They've farked it already!

Greedy Batards Update
Cincy suits try to spin destroying team Anyone who believes this is dumber than the Springer schmuck.

Man Sentenced After 'Springer' Appearance
Never underestimate the idiocy of Jerry Springer's Army of Asshats.
(via FARK

Gore to Give Anti War Speech
Well, "duh!" you know he's itching to throw his hat into the ring. After all, Dean's making all his dough using Al's invention.

Hit & Run: Conviction of the Innocent
Not new or shocking, just nuts. (via Instapundit)

Stealing The Internet
Keep it up, you fools. You're gonna drive all those "consumers" away, and thousands of alternative sources will spring up to service those suckers. You cannot control this medium the way you control the television, movie and radio options. The same way you come up with software to track and market, other folks develop warez to screw you. I can broadcast my own radio or TV show, produce and distribute my own movies, and publish my own newspaper/magazine/book without ever seeing your ugly ass marketing schemes.

I've been using RoadRunner for a couple of years, and I have never seen their homepage; don't even remember the e-mail addresses they gave me. The only contact I have with TimeWarnerCable is the occasional curse out of their tech support asshats when their servers screw up and drop my connection and the dip on the other end of the line starts reading off the bloody checklist they supply the clueless dolts.

Rachel Lucas: excellent work, mr. gates
DITTO!

Vietnamese Immigrant? Buenos Dias
Insanity in Education The sheer lunacy of this school's administration is astounding. Why they wouldn't put the poor kid in an English language class probably revolved around the funding they get per bilingual education student, which is unconscionable.

"Betting on the RSGs"
Everybody got crazy about the Terror Futures market scheme, but it was actually a pretty good idea. I worked on the Commodity Exchange trading floor for ten years, and the markets always, always beat the usual, navel-pondering suspects to the punch. Letting this idea go forward would have been worth at least a trial run, just to see where its thoughts headed.

Wiz Kid's Dad Cleared
Hoo-rah! A win for Team Sanity; a blow to the forces of Moronity.

I Hope This Guy Burns in Hell

Lupica: First-place team manages to make Joe lose cool
Tears, I'm telling ya....

Another Met Mess
This reeks An anonymous accusation throws the brakes on this kid's career. But the truly heinous thing in all this was his school only getting around to expelling him after the baseball team's season ended. Which means that if the charges were true--which nobody knows--they cared about winning the state championship than about the girls he allegedly got down and dirty with.
Personally, I don't want this kid anywhere near the Cyclones...he sounds like he's gonna be the real deal. Which means they stomp the baby Bombers's asses

Getting Iggy With It I know where I'm gonna be Friday night!

The Detroit Shakedown
PC, NFL Style This is what diversity means to Tagliabue?

State Dept. Changes Seen if Bush Reelected (washingtonpost.com) Oops! Forgot to actually talk to powell or Armitage. Hot totally NY Times can you get?

Schools chief fails 'must' test Ah, yes, the good ol' American education system. Such a wonderful thing.

BLOGGER The schmucks finally fixed BlogThis! everything that I posted btween now and June 27 can be found here and here