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Tuesday, September 30, 2003

Salon.com News | War is peace!
Why are all these media types so freaked out by FOX? It's like irrational hatred of the Yankees. You don't like that they always seem to win? Then get your game on and BEAT THEM, you gutless twirps.
Earnhardt autopsy photos case taken to high court
Hey, you college dimwits! How about it was your daddy, and he died on the Interstate, a publicly funded place? Does my First Amendment right to find out the grisly details of his death trump your right to let him have some dignity in death?
For 'Gotcha' Reporting, The Getting's Not So Good
That's because, no matter what they do, the "media" now has the ugly (to them) specter of a zillion bloggers fact-checking their asses into the ground within a couple of hours.
MotherJones.com | Reactive Media
Okay, someone from the Left needs to explain something for me: How does the wife of an American Ambassador even get placed in the putative position of "undercover agent"? I mean, let's get real here. Somebody, anybody, named an American Ambassador immediately goes under the microscope of damn near every other nation on Earth's intelligence apparatus, friend and foe alike.
This "scandal" is pure political BS. You don't believe me? Look at what ChuckyCheese Schumer is spouting.
The LeatherPenguin giggles at your collective ass.

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Oh, Siggy, get the Fark over it
Go score some poppers or something. Jesus! Those suburbs-types you're railing on are the same guys who arrest the hoods who will kick your ass in the neighborhood where you grew up if you ever dared to minced through 52 Park!
NYPress - MUGGER - Russ Smith - Vol. 16, Iss. 39
You help blow away a cop, you go in a hole and never come out.
That's justice.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Edward Said Dies at 67
Salt the freakin' ground where they bury this punk.
NYPress - MUGGER - Russ Smith - Vol. 16, Iss. 39
If you can snag the Clash reference, you get a free pass to all the pirated software we have housed on the ArmouredAgainstAshcrofdServer.
oh, and here's the LMAO:
Against my better instincts, the events of the past 30 hours can’t be blamed on either France or Teddy Kennedy.
NYPress - MUGGER - Russ Smith - Vol. 16, Iss. 39
Mugger is a dude, even with the Red Sox sticking out of his pocket. But Micky Sig....

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Hit & Run: Boo-Freakity-Hoo
Headline says it all.
Creature comfort can't hide pain
A guy like this is why Beantown will never be #1
New York Post Online Edition: news
This is only here because the schmuck who wrote it has a surname that gets automaticly tagged by one of my scripts.
5 on 1 WTC Brawl
Why is everything so funny this morning? And why the fark is this worth the ink? A NYC guy gets loud and freaky...DUH!
Slap him in a cooler for a day and be done with it.
NY Post: Steve Dunleavey
...he locked up two skels...
Dunleavey rules.
OpinionJournal - The Real World(reg reqd)
I dunno, maybe it's just too early in the morning and the caffeine hasn't sluiced through the bloodstream, but this piece gave me the giggles.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Powell Calls U.S. 'Judeo-Christian,' Then Amends (washingtonpost.com)
And the WaPo are a bunch of lazy bastards if they thought this was some sort of screw-up.
New York City - Brooklyn
Newsday Sucks. I click on "Staten Island" on their menu and I end up here.
FUCK YOU!
Australia 'world's gayest country'
So that why they call it "Down Under"?

Monday, September 22, 2003

Hillary Discourages Donating to other Dems
First Thought: DUH!
Second: Who gives a damn what this midget toe sucker thinks?
Third: With clowns like Catsimatidis, whose supermarkets are perennially on the NYC "Filthiest Joint" list, backing them, the Clintons just still haven't figured out that NYC is not Little Rock.
SEE #6
Watched this thing. Robbins is such an asshat, smacking him in the head wouldn't be good enough. But, we've found out he fancies himself a tough guy on a Chelsea Pier hockey rink. Well, I spent roughly half my life wearing skates and shoving pucks. So I know a whale of a better way than tapping keys to ring this jerkoff's bell.
"Hey, Tim? Hi! My name's Tim, too! Where'd you learn how to play?"
"mumble mumble mumble."
"Really? I learned from Stan Makita and Nicky Fotiu....
Time to eat ice, dickhead."
Dixie Chicks to break with country scene
Boo-hoo, farking Hoo! The Country Music crowd considers these tarts to be turncoats against what country music represents, but the Grammy (read: LA/NY) folks find them palatable. So now they're gonna consider themselves "part of the big Rock 'n' Roll family."
Rock 'n' Roll Family Introductory Cotillion
Ms. McGuire, glad you made it! I'd like you to meet Mr. Nugent. He's a charter member of the RnR Family. Oh, I should warn you. Charlie Daniels is in charge of the Country/Crossover Committee. And he's been heard muttering something about "dead bitch on the doorstep."
This is England
Well, at least Lincolnshire. Money Qoute:
Nick Seaton, the chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, described the changes as "political correctness gone stark raving bonkers".
Break out the Sheffield Steel and start cutting these kooks to size.
Bye, Bye, Tax Base
Here at the Igloo, we're seriously looking for a new ice floe to call home. We just bought a new place a year ago, then got whacked on the head with an 18.5% property tax hike. And don't even get me started on the tobacco BS.
Indians Vow Tax Revenge
Good on you, Tonto! The state didn't "lose" any tax receipts on Indian tobacco sales; they didn't have any right to them in the first place.
Next weekend's 'peace' marches will perpetuate the lies of the Left
It amazes me that in the country that saved civilization yahoos like these can gain any kind of purchase.
Start making sense
Bravo! I'm sick and tired of talking to supposedly "educated" people who don't have any idea what I'm talking about when a conversation veers away from the topic where they earned their alphabet ranking, especially when I'm trolling out things I learned in high school, or worse, stuff I had pounded into me by the Sisters of the Bloody Ruler in grammar school.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Blaine's Stunt Prompts Anti-U.S. Displays in Britain (washingtonpost.com)
Hey! Fuck you! We kicked his ass out. Why the hell you think he's doing on the Thames, instsead of the East or Hudson?
Simple answer: He'd be dead already.
Our War With France
Hey, jerkoff. We got the terms a long while ago. Would like like me to explains them?
France=Blow Me. US=Explain all those dead people because you losers were on vacation.
Explaining is done.
Fuck France.
LILEKS
Screw, PuppyBlender. Here is the Bombadier.
And, Ladies and Dolts, The Bomb:
Would the editorialists of the nation be happier if Saddam was still cutting checks to people who blew up not just our allies, but our own citizens? I’d like an answer. Please. Essay question: “Families of terrorists who blow up men, women and children, some of whom are Americans, no longer receive money from Saddam, because Saddam no longer rules Iraq. Is this a good thing, or a bad thing? Explain.”
The defense laughs at your ass.
Ann Coulter: Here's a traitor!
She's a bottle blonde bitch, but she makes 'em, twitch.
RACIST ISLAND UPDATE
Local paper's website doesn't even wanna face the facts that most of their "target audience" ARE FARKING KLANSMAN GUIDOS WHO AGREE WITH THE BEATDOWNS!
Memo to Gumbel: Has the Alimony Check Cleared?
I'm tempted to become a Boston Cream Pie Guy, but, see, I'm from Staten Island, the new Center of the Racist Universe, so, maybe, I should be Coconut Cream Pie Guy?
FBI joins S.I. bias probers
Oh, here we go. Howard Beach gets a brother, and Top Tomato has a mad run on watermelon.
You wanna know where this comes from? The Gangplank Gang. So blame it all on Robert Moses.
That's the ticket! Let's blame it on a Jew!
Boo-Hoo
Knock the jake-off down!
MLB= Mucho Lucre Bastardes
It's 8 AM here in Staten Island, and you can already feel Isabel coming up the driveway and knocking on the door. If this game isn't called, MLB should be put on trial for endangering the welfare of their employees and customers.
Not Quite Right
Once again, Peters, who has proven himself an excellent judge of the global terrain, nails it on the head. Wes Clark may be a smart guy, but at his core he's a dinosaur of the Sixties; a Cold Warrior unable to grasp 21st century realities of where the enemy now resides. For all the bluster you'll be heariing about his role in Kosovo, he was so pissed at the Russians a Brit commander had to throw the brakes on what could have been a disastrous blunder.
But the Dems are nothing if not dogs of media whores, so Clark is gonna have legs for awhile, until the nasty facts about this Clinton lapdog bubble up (probably through the blogosphere).

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

NY Daily News Exclusive: Off their rockers
Yep. This'll really get them graduation rates zooming into the stratosphere.
Bono and Bush in "good old row."
What a Paddy putz! As if Bush's handlers even let him do anything more than get his photo-op.
City Council Pols in Clash Over S.I. Wave of 'Bias'
Barron is an asshole, but he's right about the Staten Island "Mason-Dixon line." He just got the location wrong. It's not the Expressway. It's Amboy Road.
Smoke Nazis Keep on Lying
"Vincent Fyfe, head of the United Food & Commercial Workers Union, said his members are reporting a 20 to 40 percent drop in liquor sales."
These are the folks who, obstensibly, the law is meant to protect. If they say it's harming business, believe them.
Also check this
A Mental Case
Wait a second...wasn't this supposed to be "an accident" just a few months ago? Oh well. His lawyers are also trolling the notion that the cops who responded are a bunch of racist bastards, which, of course, explains why their stupid bastard client was playing with a loaded shotgun after spending the night boozing around with his friends.
I hope the victim's family ends up owning this S.O.B.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Man Jumps to Death in St. Mark's Square (washingtonpost.com)
Hey, Drudge? I'll bet most people haven't got clue where St. Mark's Square is. I mean, jeez, I thought somebody renamed some dinky park in the Village.
Cons' tasty condoms
Sorry.... Have to clean the screen off. Oh,Canada!
One night in the park
Oh, Hanley....
"They are also investigating the New Jersey group's claim that the first officers who arrived on the scene told them to go back to New Jersey before they let off shells at you. None of you want to get shot tonight."
If they said anything, they said "cap your ass."
"...let off shells at you."
Puh-leeze!
As for the "racial" aspects, again, gimme a break. OF COURSE slurs were tossed; it's the nature of the beast. I grew up in the Berry Homes. Get in a fight with the South Beach boys, you called them "fucking wop bastards." I was so used to being called a "dumb Mick shit" that it became background noise. When a buddy of mine, Timmy Turner, would do something to embarass me, he was "you nigger fuck."
It's nothing more than the usual blundering bullshit.
No one asks the big Q:
What were ANY of those assholes doing down there that late at night?
Yanks find way to dress up defeat
Loss, schmoss; Hideki be fly!
He'd get my vote
Put him together with BlenderBoy!
Chicago Tribune | Starting today, I accept a new writing challenge
What an arrogant putz! There a better, stronger biz writers across the country than this Second City Shithead who would give up an appendage for a regular slot in a major market pub. Yet this blowhard thinks it's below him.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Watching Cheney Slap Russert's Ass
This is better than a bottle of Jack Danny. Dickie's just mowing Russert down like a lawn.
I was getting ready to make some bacon & eggs...now I drooling on this red meat.
IHT: Paul Krugman: The ugly exploitation of Sept. 11
Will someone please clear this guy from my sky?
Clinton Campaigns for Democrats in Iowa
Hey, Bubba. Shut up. You built the train wreck these nine Yackoffs are running.
Say A Prayer for Sweet Lou
Hey, dude. You couldda been a Met.
Wait a second. Which would suck more?
Ananova - Madonna 'hides sexy stage persona from daughter'
and exacly how does a media whore hide?

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Dave Barry: My little wedding belle
Dave Barry rules. He'd be my #1 fave, except there's this guy from Minnesota....

Friday, September 12, 2003

That day and this
Okay, I'm going into "get your ass kicked" zonage, but can somebody, please!, give Hanley a little slap in the yap and tell him he ain't never moving up the Conde Nast ladder?
Shit, dude. I can write you under the table when I'm drunk. Or asleep. or....
Les Trautmann's corpse laughs at your ass.
Jeez, I'm being an even bigger asshat today, ain't I?
CNN.com - 'We will never forget you' - Sep. 12, 2003
But whichever jackass wrote this thing got the bit about the flag all wrong in the first freaking para, so bite me, you Turner-fed asshat.
DRUDGE: Jerusalem Post: Kill Arafat
Why not? Like, it's gonna make things worse?
Johnny Cash dead at 71
He's walked the line,
for the last time.
Keepin' the Nation Strong, the Gals Quiet
And bitch slapping pansy-assed fuckers like you!
When Racial Discrimination Is Not Just Black and White (reg req)
Sorry. Just laughing my ass off over this one.
The Belgravia Dispatch
Better than anything I could come up with.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

lgf: email an article
why the English Suck. Irish may suck, bu you guys blow.
lgf: 9/11 Celebrations in Britain
I do not go hoopy on links
It says what it says
ThisisLondon
And Sheffield Steel is Queer
Michelle Malkin: Spitting on their graves
Hey, I'm a Recovering Catholic, and even that doddering Polack wouldn't put up with this.
"WHERE ARE MY JESUITS?"
IHT: Remembering, 2 years later
Read the first paragraph. Then tell me why we should give a damn about anything these shitbags say.
Remember, this is the NY Times. I know that today, after the memorials, there was amurmuring mass of "Let's go kick their ass."
Reporters in Uranium Story May See Charges
GOOD! Lock these fuckheads up! This has nothing to do with any First Amendment doggerel. They purposefully attempted to circumvent the rules to score some asinine political/"gotcha!" point.
FUCK YOU. Bend over and take your punishment. Your come out with this shit now? At this time?
I know a guy, who knows a guy, who wants your Upper West Side ass in a sling so you can sing "SOO_WHEE!"
Two Years Later
I'm still a mess. It goes good for the amount of time I have between news reports about how we're "quagmired." Then I get ornery.
5 WELL PLACED M.O.A.B.=NO QUAGMIRE
Right now, Paki is the next Afgani. Drop one really big load on there asses up north and suddenly all the rats will be driven from there holes by the locals. "But they have nukes!"
SO? They have what, maybe a half dozen? And no missiles worth a toss. But we can toss their entire GDP of bombies onto their ass.
Who do you think they will bend over for first?

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Opus the Penguin Back In the Funny Business (washingtonpost.com)
Our hero and inspiration, the Fabulous Flightless Waterfowl returns. Thank you, BB!
Bloom-Struck: Aiello's Studio Faces Eviction
It's all about the Steiners and their political juice; every other "reason" is garbage. The EDC has sat on the Homeport property for a damn decade without coming up with anything remotely feasable for the site. Aiello's group have the best plan for the property and the tools to put it in place. Then the EDC started screwing them.
FCC Rules 'Howard Stern' Meets Standard Of a News Show (washingtonpost.com)
Which means that Leatherpenguin.com is on a par with....
nevermind. I got nuthin'.
Raise Beer Tax to Reduce Teen Drinking - Report
Yeah. Right. Sure. That's the ticket. I mean, it's easier than throwing the clowns who sell beer to kids in jail, isn't it?
Few Booze Barns Take Sunday Shot
This scheme was moronic from the git-go. Allowing liquor stores to open on Sundays, but only if they close their shops some other day of the week, pretty much made it a lock that they wouldn't take the bait. Why bother? Everyone is already conditioned to the idea of the Sunday shutdown. Whatever sales they could garner opening on Sunday would be offset by the lost revenue closing down some other day of the week would entail.

The clowns in Albany who thought this hare-brained half measure would generate additional tax receipts just keep on proving they shouldn't be allowed near anything remotely fiscal. They beat the tar out of smokers by jacking tobacco taxes, then were shocked, shocked!, that smokers looked elsewhere to get their fix. I mean, it takes me roughly fifteen minutes to get to Bayonne, NJ., where (so far) butts (and booze) are cheaper. Nevermind buying them from an online source. Even factoring in the bridge toll, I still save money by copping my cartons over there.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

OpinionJournal - The Western Front (reg req)
I'm right freaking here and I ain't moving.

Monday, September 08, 2003

Warren Zevon dies at 56
It's a depressing day when this is the first thing you hear, even when you knew it was coming. Today will be All Day Warren on the Igloo's sound system, with "Lawyers, Guns & Money" getting insanely heavy rotation.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

Which is the Cursed Team Here
ad hominem: TEARS!

Friday, September 05, 2003

AndrewSullivan.com - Daily Dish

Siggi, I'm sorry. I'll call Pappa Joe.

This, is my online queen.
Go scratch them fiddles.
A wilted nation: cont'd
just reread the article and one thing screamed out at me this time that didn't register during the first read:
There's no question of touching holidays," said Communist lawmaker Alain Bocquet. Jean-Claude Mailly, a prominent trade union leader, suggested France was rich enough to come up with the money without touching workers' holidays and said working an extra day to pay for supporting the elderly is "enforced charity, totally unacceptable."

Translation: Let 'Em Die.
Farking, farking frogs.... Take a good look at Germany; your ass-kicking is gonna be three times worse.
A wilted nation
No. France is a nation bereft of shame, guilt, and admittance to complicity in the deaths of so many of their peres. (sp?)
EU farm chief slams poor nations' demands
And the EUnichs don't comprehend why they are held in contempt by damn near everyone that isn't one of their member states? Idiots!
UPDATE: Check this site too.
"kickAAS: When Cancun becomes Cantcun."
Love their name.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

OpinionJournal - John Fund's Political Diary
When will one of these moronic pundit shits realize that the (legal) Hispanics in California are descendants of Mick/Wop Influx in New York & Boston, circa post-last centenery period (wha? -Ed.)?
It's the same thing with Arnold. "Fark these Anglo assholes. This town is OURS! Viva Terminator!"
So make some juice, Jesus.
No Fun
Tears.
One Hand Clapping
interesting
Speeding
Nuts. Just plain nuts.
Las Vegas SUN: U.S. Court Overturns 100 Death Sentences
I'm not, like, an advocate of wholesale slaughter, but....
The Pizza Man
This story justs creeps me to the nines.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Two years of Gibberish
Must read piece of the day. Via PuppyBlender.