OpinionJournal - John Fund on the Trail
Let me announce it now: if the 8x1 money grab goes through, I am running for Borough President of Staten Island, NYC, USA. Yellow sheet and all.

My platform will be comfy couched around the idea that we don't have enough INS officers on this Island, so my first move will be to deputize every silly sullen asshat teenage boy and allow them to crack every wetback head they can [YEA, LYNCH], and IMMEDIATELY rake the lawn of every freaking house on their block that said wetback was gonna rake {WHAT??? DUDE, I GOTTA GO TO THE MALL].

I figure I'll draw about low-five digits in actual cash. Times 8=Pocket Money for a Month.

Hell, Daddys my age are waiting to beat their sonnyboys into the ground and scream: "You Farking Ingrate! We used to have baseball bat fights about newspaper routes!"

But the mommies at the schools got to them first.

BTW: Duke, and soccer, suck.